I wish we all were naked

I wish we all were naked.

I had just finished leading worship at my church for a prayer set and was in the bathroom.  I woman there commented on my clothing.  Suddenly I was filled with shame. I knew I shouldn't have worn this shirt! I'm a leader! It was a hand-me down from my roommate and felt revealing when I put it on but had protested that I needed something to wear in this heat and I had worn my more modest brown tank top 3 times already this week.  Though she was right I was filled with frustration.  I became even more frustrated when I went to the store to look for new clothes and found nothing for this hot weather that wasn't revealing.

Her comment started me on this long thinking train this week.  I often think about the topic of modesty and get frustrated.  I'm usually just frustrated at the Devil because I see this process: one person accuses another person of being immodest and it creates shame.  Or a guy stumbles because a girl is immodest and it creates shame.  This whole thing wouldn't be a thing if sin hadn't entered the picture!

I've written a blog about this before but I think I have a little more insight into it now.  For women, we already innately are born with body shame.  Part of the culture of "baring it all" is actually from a healthy place of being ok with our bodies.  How are we going to be comfortable with our husbands if we can't look at ourselves in the mirror naked and like what we see?

When that woman spoke to me I was kind of astounded that I had known when I picked out the shirt that it was too revealing but I frankly didn't care.  I cared more about my comfort in that moment.  To me that shows me a few things.

For starters, I've come a long way.  I used to use modesty as a way of hiding.  I was super ashamed of my body.  Now, it doesn't seem to bother me anymore.  I'm not concerned about what other people think.  I think that's a good thing.

Because of this though I've become less cauteous, less caring for the people around me.  Think about it, I cared more about my comfort (It's freaking hot!) than the men whose souls I was leading into worship.  I cared more about me.

The Bible teaches us that the way of the gospel is the way of the cross.  I need to surrender my comfort sometimes so that other people can be honored and cared for.  That's the thing about this discussion about modesty that I often see flare up.  We are so quick to defend our own cause and blame the other person. Yet we fail to see it from their perspective.  If we truly put ourselves in one another shoes we would see that our actions affect other people.

So I realized my wardrobe needs some inner healing and decided to go shopping.

But I hate shopping.  I'm not fashionable.  I don't know what to pick out.  I don't know where to go.  I don't like anything I see. And I think everything is too expensive for me.  I usually come home after shopping with nothing to show for it and 4 hours wasted.

All this to say that it bugs the crap out of me that we live in a fallen world.  I actually read a lot of things by nudists because I'm so fascinated by the fact that these people are attempting to live out the garden of Eden outside of Eden.  How do you do that?  How do you honor other people and not live in shame at the same time?  I think these questions can be further sorted out with the One who put us in the garden to begin with.