I learned so much about my life and myself from rock
climbing. Particularly I learned
two feelings of complete fear and how to overcome that fear. First is the feeling I got when almost
reached the top but just the thought of moving two inches gave me a panic
attack. This feeling was only
rivaled by the terrifying feeling I got when I reached the top.
I was bouldering up this wall. There was padding underneath me so I was never truly in
danger. My first concern was that
the grips were so difficult. As I
almost reached the top of one course I was crouched down, inches away from the
top. I heard people below me
encouraging me and telling me what to do: “You’re almost there!” “Just push up
on your right leg!” I knew though that all my weight would be on that one
leg. I couldn’t trust the grip of
my hand and I didn’t trust my leg.
I couldn’t bring myself to push down and straighten up. I chickened out and jumped down.
My life is so much like this. Whenever I am almost at my goal I freak out. I see the distance below and the leap
to the top seems too dangerous so instead I stay comfortable where I’m at. Faith can mean relying on something
totally different than what you’re used to. This is what I’m learning. We are used to trusting God in one way and then he stretches
us to trust him further. We are
always growing and expanding. I
needed to trust.
Excitingly I eventually reached the top of this course and
conquered that fear. Once at the top, however, I
panicked. I gripped tightly to the
wall and admitted to my companion below that I was terrified of coming
down. I felt quite silly but
that’s just exactly how I felt. I
saw the ground and I was simply terrified of moving from my position.
Isn’t life just like that? We reach the pinnacle, the huge goal that we set for
ourselves and suddenly we don’t know what to do. We are disoriented and scared of moving. We get
comfortable. God is calling us to
new and loftier dreams. See, I
could’ve stayed at the top of level V1 and missed out on all the amazing V2’s
and V3’s out there. It’s the same
story of growing and expanding our horizons.
Interestingly as I climbed I spoke to this random theater
girl about our hopes and dreams in the theater. She said she wanted to open her own rec center with arts
programs but it seemed like a big dream.
I said, “Well I’ve had this dream for years of having my own ensemble
and thought it was too big but now I’m thinking maybe I dreamed too small.” Where did that come from? I can tell you today I probably
wouldn’t be able to tell someone that but last night it came out of my mouth as
I prophesied it over myself.
So this is my gift to you. Expand, do not be afraid to risk, reach higher, climb to the
top and don’t be afraid to start on another course.
