Sometimes something as simple as changing one's guitar strings can change one's outlook. I realized that fear runs my life. I'm so afraid of messing up again or things going wrong that I don't do anything.
I had already almost effortlessly changed one string. Then the most horrible thing that could happen occurred: as I was winding the next new string on, it broke.
Even though I thankfully had a third string, I spent the next 20 minutes agonizing over putting this string on. Am I doing this right? I felt the silent nudge of the Holy Spirit to start from the top down but I ignored it for a while. When I listened, everything clicked into place and slowly the fear subsided into confidence again.
The emotional block of fear I believe helped cause this delay. I see the pattern in my everyday life. I'm afraid to get another job because I don't want to be taken advantage of. I'm afraid to get another apartment because I might make a financially bad decision like last time. I'm afraid to even pick a roommate because of what happened last time.
But I at least picked up the guitar. Part of the beauty of that story was that Holy Spirit gave me the nudge that got me past that moment. He said, "Yay! You picked up the guitar." He allowed me to feel both the exhilaration of getting something wrong and the frustration of failure in order to teach me something.
If I let myself live afraid of the possible consequences of my actions everyday, I'll never do anything! But of these two scriptures I am certain: "perfect love casts out fear." And "God is love." Therefore I choose to live in the confidence that God is big enough to take care of every mishap and is more than willing to get me where I need to go. Not only that, but he wants and knows what's best for me and he will lead me into being who I'm meant to be. That makes me confident that it is possible to live without fear.
