Whenever people casually bring up the word “feminism” in
Christian conservative circles I have been a part of I still often hear people react to the word negatively. This concerned and aggravated me for a
while. However, I really believe
it is both a matter of misinformation (which I will not address here) and a
misunderstanding of representations of feminism through popular culture based
on personal feelings.
When we talk about ideals and values I think it’s important
to come from a healed and whole perspective. Instead of, “I don’t personally like how this is.” It should be, “This doesn’t line up
with the kingdom of God.” Of
course, we only see the world through our lens so sometimes it’s hard to tell
the difference. Also, the more we
become like Christ it actually should be harder to tell the difference in some
respects.
To explain this better, let me say that I grew up in a home
where I reacted to ways I felt like my mother was not treated as an equal. It
angered me immensely and I saw it as my duty to correct the wrong that was
done. I may not have acted in a very honoring way because it bothered me so
much. It bothered me so much that, to this day, I am still overwhelmed by men
who cook and clean and do it gladly.
That was a bitter root. I was personally judging my father against my ideals and he
fell short of what I thought a man should be. As a result, any time a guy ever acted similarly to that I
would be triggered and react to what I regarded as (I didn’t realize at the
time the terminology) anti-feminism or patriarchy.
I remember post college my best friend and I and another guy
we graduated with were running a theatre camp in the community of Azusa. Basically each of us were in charge of
an age group and we were devising a culminating “show” together of original
theatre because Marc (the guy) and I had discovered this incredible devising
process in our Theatre Education class.
The show was going to be based on Peter Pan.
As we sat talking about how we wanted the storyline to
loosely go I remember very adamantly saying, “Why does it have to be the
typical story of the guy saving the girl?
Why can’t it be the other way around?” I must have thought I was being subversive in my
story-telling but clearly there was some baggage there because even my best
friend commented, “Woah, Jennie.” Something had triggered me and I was being
reactionary.
So, now I’m circling back to my conversations with
conservative Christians who see feminism as negative because women are so angry
at men. Angry feminism I believe
happens when women are so fed up with the ways they are defined by culture that
they make it their life’s mission to debunk that. They are triggered and are
compelled to do something.
The problem with this is that culture should never be what
defines us in the first place.
Culture changes. Yes we
should be actively trying to change culture as Christians but we shouldn’t be
angry when it doesn’t bend to our will.
Trends come and go but our identity should be firmly rooted in Christ
and what he says about us.
The truth is that Jesus doesn’t expect us to cook, clean,
and fulfill our husband’s every desire.
Jesus doesn’t expect us to rear children perfectly and somehow all the
bills magically get paid. Neither
does he expect us to be high powered and get everything done.
He calls us and qualifies us according to completely
different standards. When we see ourselves that way I believe we will no longer
be angry. Then we can call culture out from a place of understanding. Feminism is about empowerment. Jesus is also about empowerment. Look it up. The angry people are simply a reflection of identifying with
something that was never our identity to begin with.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because a friend of mine posted something on Facebook with
the hashtag #wifegoals and it triggered me. I’m not perfect either!
I leave you with my favorite feminist song:
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