Thoughts on Process

In the process 

In the waiting

You’re making melody over me

Process. Process is a hard word for me. For instance, today I had my first piano lesson. I had been attempting for a month to teach myself to play and had hit a wall. What I discovered from this small lesson was my incredible impatience I have with myself.

When I would mess up I would instantly be so frustrated with myself. My teacher however didn’t act surprised. She just let me try over and over again. She broke things down so they were easy for me. She kept saying, “This is normal. You’re adding more complicated things. It’s ok to feel like you’re starting over when you add the second hand.” She literally sat with me and played the piece with me until I got it.

I feel like this is a beautiful example of how God is with us in our process. He’s not surprised by what we see as failure. It doesn’t daunt him. He keeps validating our identity in him.  “Just because you’re struggling again does not mean you failed and you can’t try anymore. It just means you’re stepping into something greater” I hear him say. Then he sits down with us and walks us through it!

When I’m impatient with myself and someone else is so incredibly patient with me I’m forced to recognize that the only thing holding me back is myself. The battle truly is in our minds.

I think it’s because I have this voice whispering in my ear the entire time. It’s whispering “you’re not getting it. You can’t get it. You’ll never understand.”

That’s not true though, is it? We can accomplish anything eventually if given the time and practice and a good teacher. We cannot expect perfection from ourselves. We will always fall short.

Do you find yourself impatient with yourself? Maybe you’re  impatient with the process.  What kind of self-defeating thoughts do you hear in your head? What thoughts can you replace them with?

Today I’m going to choose to think:

You will get this. (I can do anything with him who gives me strength)

You do not need to be ashamed (who told you you were naked?)

You are enough (I am fearfully and wonderfully made)