When we walk in our identity we are unstoppable
On the drive back from Dallas, I had an epiphany moment. I turned to my friend Aaron and I asked, “If I was completely delivered from the fear of man, nothing would keep me from fulfilling my destiny would, it?” I think the answer goes without saying. This is a great way to introduce what I think the major thing the Lord was stressing for me and my team during the Esther Call, which was identity. If that's what God was doing when he planned to raise up Esthers, he was going to deal with us first.
It all started for me on the drive to Dallas. I hate to admit it since I am, after all, 22 years old, but...I was really nervous about driving. So I made sure at least that I was caravaning with one car before we left. When we headed out, my partner car took off in front of me and before I knew it was no longer in sight. The Lord used that moment of panic to teach me a very important lesson. As I turned to him and let him search my heart over this issue silently in the car, he broke through and gave me such a peace as he reminded me that he is my Father and he will never abandon me. I realized that I did not need to live in fear! My identity is secure. God used that as I did end up, through a course of events, driving the rest of the way all by myself (with all girls in my car).
Tornados and Power
The enemy threatened multiple times or the Lord presented multiple opportunites on the trip for us to acknowledge who our God is and who we are in him. Another one was when two tornados touched down in Dallas. Although at the time we were a couple miles out in Parker, Texas, we could very well been driven by fear (especially for 39 friends who were walking at that time in the Back to Life Movement). Instead, all of us were actually quite the opposite praying and praising the Lord, knowing in our very core that he was sovereign over the situation.
We knew, as Daniel's companions knew, who our God was. They said, "Our God is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king" (Daniel 3:17). We stood on the porch making decrees over the weather, dancing, and singing.
Just as the Esther Call signs read: "Release the pain, release the power," we discovered an important biblical truth about identity--it can only be fully realized when we are fully repentant. Interestingly every moment of repentance was very spur of the moment and clearly released by the Holy Spirit. The first was before we even got to Dallas. When we were praying in the side room the week before we left, the Lord revealed to one of the TCIers that she had bloodguilt on her hands. As soon as she confessed to all of us that she had medicated herself in order to force an abortion when she was younger, she was almost instantly delivered from the spirit of death and set free. Immediately following this the Holy Spirit manifested in a powerful way in the group so that even late into the night when we were kicked out of the room, people who walked by would fall on their faces weeping. Confession leads to revival and we got a taste of that!
This happened to me on the trip also! I was actually about to go to bed one night in the house we were staying at and started talking to these two guys on my team. I don't really remember what happened but it seemed so abrupt. The Holy Spirit fell on me and instantly I was confronted by an area in my life where I had defiled myself by watching something years ago. I repented and one by one the people around me started falling out in the spirit, weeping and confessing their sins. This rose out of a normal conversation!
I firmly believe also that it was a Holy Spirit inspired direct counter-attack on the enemy, who was desiring to bring disunity by comparison because many of our confessions centered on comparing ourselves to each other. Unity was literally restored to the group. Our confession was a powerful testimony to me of the foreshadowing of coming revival.
I truly believe this happened on a massive scale at the Esther Call. Women got up on the mic and confessed to having abortions. Tracy Eckart, who leads the Dallas house of prayer, told us how she had had an abortion. A young woman shared how abortion had led her to contemplate suicide. A pastor's daughter confessed to taking the morning after pill. In response, women across the room gathered in small groups, wept, confessed aloud to each other, and prayed for one another. I hope to hear down the road a testimony from some of these women. I do know that it is a huge milestone on the road to revival.
A sort of side note...
When the actress who played the birth mother in October Baby shared, Tracy shared something about releasing pain that stuck with me. She said her son walked up to her and told her that the movie touched him in a deep way. When she prodded him as to why, he immediately let out this gut-wrenching wail. He identified with the leading girl in that he lost his sibling to abortion. For the first time in his life he was actually able to let this pain out! This was all because someone made a movie that addressed it. Our identities cannot be released if we do not pray for the arts and entertainment world to be stirred in their spirits about these issues!
Key Confessions and Prayer Points
Each segment of the Call had key focuses to pray for and confess over. I think a few (not already mentioned) are worth noting here, if anyone is interested in praying into these things long term (as I feel convicted to). Here they are in no particular order:
- Feminism--we need to repent from using our sexuality to manipulate and control
- A release of the Biblical mindset that children are a blessing from the Lord
- Contraception--read what it actually does and pray about it (Luke 1 says that "immediately" after the spirit hovered over Mary, she went to Elizabeth. John leapt in the womb at a zygote!)
- Expose Planned Parenthood--Carol Everett (a former leader in the organization) spoke about their agenda to actually perform more abortions by targetting children at a young age through pornography, and, when they kids do become sexually active, giving them cheap forms of contraception that they know won't work.
- End the one child policy in China and the atrocious forced abortions that occur there
- A release of an adoption movement
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