Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Single Blog


          I have yet to meet a girl who doesn’t want to be married.  I’ve been told they’re out there I just have yet to meet them.  I know though that we are all created to love and to be loved.  Sure I have a lot of growing to do so I’m not impatiently banging down the door of Heaven for my perfect match.  At the same time, I know girls who got married when they were 18 and didn’t have the know-how or experience.  Is it one of those waiting things I’ll never understand?  I don’t think so.  What is it, then, about this waiting season, that the Lord is doing in my heart?
            Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s fully possible to fathom the “whys” of God.  As humans we like to have a checklist and when we’re all done we get rewarded.  But it usually doesn’t work like that.  “So God, if I have x, y, and z in order, you’ll give me a husband?”  God does not operate on our clocks!  
            Remember how Hannah was barren and watched as her husband had children by another woman?  And how the woman laughed at her?  Where’s the justice in that, God?  Yet after much time he opened her womb.  I can’t explain that story to you.  Only Hannah understood in the end how much God loved her that he waited until the exact right moment to give her what she desired.  That being said, here are just a few things I think the Lord has in store for my singleness and time of waiting.
            One thing I think he’s doing is revealing who the guy really is.  Every girl has a desire for a husband.  I am not ashamed to admit that when I was little I was boy crazy.  At the tender age of 4 I had a crush on Curly from Oklahoma.  Some years later, my imaginary friends were imaginary boyfriends.  Yet, did I, back then, really know what I wanted?  Were men real human beings or just imaginary knights in shining armor?  It’s taken some time, but I think I’m beginning to understand what expectations are important to keep and what I need to toss in the unrealistic bin. (Side note: I can’t tell you what yours should and shouldn’t be.  That’s up to you and the Lord.  I’m tired of people dictating what others’ expectations should be.  Let it be.)
            Also, without a husband to care for me I’m learning interdependence.  The Lord has been teaching me how to lean on him and trust him for everything I need.  He’s my husband!  I can tell you I’ve definitely enjoyed being independent for a season.  Yet I know I can’t do it alone!  I know He needs to sustain me and bring me a community to surround me and fight the good fight with me.
            Another thing God is doing is creating desire.  Allen Hood told the story of God creating Eve in such a dramatic way, I’ll never forget it.  He played Adam naming all the animals.  Each time he named one, he was looking for his helpmate.  Each time he got more and more frustrated.  “Come on, God, where is she?  Elephant.  Tiger.  Agh!”  My writing does his sermon injustice, his illustration was to show that God waited to in order to create that deep ache in Adam so that when Eve appeared it was so much more amazing.
            Ladies, isn’t it better to stick to God’s timetable?  Don’t we believe that what he has in mind is infinitely better than anything we could ever dream?  Match.com has nothing on the God of the universe who knit you together in your mother’s womb.  He truly wants the best for us!  In all of these things I am learning, I realize that I am already beginning to fill my greatest calling: partnering with the Lord’s heart for my husband.  After marriage we are called to that.  Why not start now?  Why not begin to ask the Lord who this man really is (his hang-ups, his destiny, his dreams)?  Why not allow the Lord to create a deep, holy desire for matrimony in us?  Above all, let the Lord minister to your heart.  You’ll be amazed at the treasures that you find.

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