Pure Joy

            The last time I updated in December, I asked for you to join me in prayer for a job so that I can continue to afford to live where I am.  That was all I told you.  However, I started asking for a very specific job. From the get-go, I asked the Lord for a very specific amount of money every month.  I have to admit, at first I asked rather timidly, only half-believing he’d do it.  I thought for a time that I was crazy for asking for that much!  I knew it’s exactly what I need, though, so I figured he’d have to make a way if that wasn’t a possible amount.  Eventually I started to ask more boldly.

            Also, since I arrived the Lord had placed this desire in my heart for children.  Everywhere I looked I saw them and longed for them.  I kept applying for nanny positions and things kept falling through.  It got to the point where my heart literally ached when I saw children.  I would go home and weep before the Lord, begging him to either fulfill or take the desire away.

            As I prayed I finally got an interview with a family in January.  I prayed before the interview, “Lord, if this is you, let us have a strong connection as soon as we meet.”  There wasn’t one.  Furthermore, as I walked away from the interview I realized the children were not quite what I desired (even though, up until that moment, I didn’t know what I wanted).  I threw up a quick prayer, “Lord, I want a girl around eleven that I can mentor and be like a big sis to and a little guy I can cuddle with.”

            Not long after, I had gotten e-mail from Smartsitting (the babysitting network I’m a part of here) about a job opportunity.  For one reason or another, I ignored it.  I was closing Panera on a Friday night that week and I got a text from the girl who handles my applications saying, “I think you should apply for this position and you need to do it tonight because she’s holding interviews tomorrow.”

            After work I dashed home, read about the family, was flabbergasted that the description specifically mentioned the need for someone to be like a big sister to an 11-year-old girl and the boy was a cute, cuddly 4-year-old.  I quickly filled out the application. By now it was midnight.  I texted the girl again, “I know it’s late but I just filled out the application and I really want this job.”  She texted back, “I just got you an interview.”

            Long story short, I had an interview the next morning, immediately connected with the family, had a trial the next day, and by Sunday afternoon I was hired.  God is so good!

            I just want to thank you for all of your prayers and encourage you to keep praying for me!  The Lord has answered every prayer I asked for in the last blog.  I asked for continued favor also in the arts world.  I have made some amazing connections with people who will both creatively move me forward and logistically.  For example, at my new job, my boss works for a major casting agency.  The girl I nanny goes to a pretty high profile school so I may even get a chance to meet some famous actors.

            I asked the Lord for community.  In one week, all the Christians came out of the woodwork and started encouraging me.  It was the most amazing and bizarre thing ever!  I connected with a guy and a girl from work (the only ones) who really love the Lord and ended up working with them quite frequently that week so that there was never a moment where I didn’t have their encouragement.  Then, at JHOP I connected with three people who really went out of their way to make sure I was getting connected to the community.

            The Lord is also moving behind the scenes, moving things spiritually.  I asked for an oppressive spirit to be lifted off of me and off of the city and I believe it has.  I cannot tell you how my emotional life has shifted within the last few weeks.  I had to fight so many lies and confusion when I first got here.  Now I think the enemy has learned that he can’t win with lies so he’s trying more subtle tactics.  He’s just not in a very good position as of now, praise God.  Also, I’ve noticed the Lord doing major reconstruction on my heart, teaching me about his love for me as a father and healing old daddy wounds.  Also, I’ve been taken into an intense season of intercession.

            I’m so encouraged because I’m reading through old journal entries and seeing his faithfulness displayed through my life.  Even when I don’t know he’s at work, he’s doing something so incredible!  I always picture him taking these broken pieces of my life and making this beautiful mosaic.  In the moment I always think, “What on earth is this mess?”  Yet the outcome is always beauty.

            I had written in my journal that I was afraid to go to New York because I expected there to be great toil and there wouldn’t be immediate breakthrough.  In one sense this was true.  Yet I have other friends who have been laboring in prayer for things much longer than 3 months and still haven’t received it yet.  That is why I feel so blessed.  I feel almost guilty for feeling so blessed and I want others to be able to share in my joy.  I wonder if that’s what Jesus feels like?  Like he’s just exploding with joy.

            I am truly thankful for all he’s provided.  I don’t have to worry!  I just have to trust his leadership.  He’s so good to me.  It’s not even because of what I see him doing but, like I said, it’s about the mosaic that I don’t see.  So no matter what I’m feeling (we all get emotional highs and lows.  Even tonight I was feeling kind of low because I’m bored and lonely and blaming myself for being bored and lonely), I’ve learned the secret to contentment.

            Here are a few tidbits from my journal entries that I found amusing and very telling about my journey here:

            I asked, “God, I want a job where I can acquire skill for my calling someday.  Please don’t make me work in the restaurant business for the rest of my life.”

            “So I arose and went out into the valley, and behold, the glory of the Lord stood there” (Ezekiel 3:23).  I wrote, “He arose.  Hey obeyed the Lord not knowing what was in the valley.”

            HILARIOUS: I was at the Resting House of Prayer in New Jersey with strike team.  Someone walked over to me and prophesied over me something to the effect of them seeing me as a teacher with small children.  I laughed inwardly thinking “Yeah, right.”

            Now that I think about, Gregg said he saw a picture of me with small children too.  I laughed but that word is definitely being fulfilled.  I also got multiple words about wearing different hats while I’m in New York.

            I wrote, “There’s a lingering thought-maybe I shouldn’t panic.  Maybe there’s a job so much better than Panera out there for me.”

            At the start of my new journal I drew a picture of me pushing away these creatures from Hell on either side of me with great force.  Clearly it was a struggle to do so.  Truly quite a few bleak things had happened to me.  I was under major attack.  I penned under this illustration by far my favorite thing I’ve written: “Indeed I feel that the scourge of the enemy is but a drop in the bucket to the pure joy at my disposal.  He’s raging because I know who I am.  I know my calling and I know who You are.”

           

Prayer requests:

·      Community: I need pillars of righteousness to stand around me.  I need covenant sisters to lock arms with me on this journey in a city full of darkness.  Being shy and independent I have a hard time reaching out to people.

• ·      To be able to continually walk in the opposite spirit.  If the people around me are complaining, that I would be the one who is thankful.
• ·      To be able to be faithful in learning the lessons of servanthood and meekness that he’s laid before me in my job and have grace for myself when I have no idea what I am doing.
• ·      To be faithful to study what he’s told me to study because I need wisdom for what he’s about to do with me.  He’s making me into a Daniel.
• ·      To be bold and daring in how I approach creativity and the arts, holding nothing back.
• ·      Finally, for my health: I have been sick here more than I think I’ve ever been!  Granted, I am now babysitting, but this should not be happening!