We can Learn a lot from Prisoners

When I was at Rikers Island working one on one writing plays with inmates, I learned a lot from them (probably more than they learned from me honestly).  In the midst of the Corona virus nightmare I find myself thinking a lot about these guys, mainly because to the average white American the concept of being locked away from the world is totally foreign. To these guys, it’s their everyday reality. We complain when our favorite coffee shop is closed. They don’t have access to Starbucks.  Our reaction to being cooped up not only shows our propensity for not being able to sit still but it also reveals our privilege.

I previously posted on the need for wisdom in this time of crisis. I talked about taking a long look at ourselves and seeing which category we fall into and using this time well. I wanted to follow that post up with the some practical advice on how to use our time well from another angle.  Who are better experts on confinement than some of the 52,399 prisoners currently serving time or held in detention awaiting trial in New York State?

1. Make use of your time

The prisoners I see thriving in Rikers are the ones who make use of their time locked away from the outside world.  The ones I meet are actively researching and working on their own cases. They often have a strict physical regimen for themselves. They often have jobs at the jail where they make money. They often participate in social service programs. They participate in my programming. They envision their future and take time to create in order to get there.

2. How you make use of your time can sometimes feel arbitrary

Waking up on time every day and brushing your teeth can sometimes seem silly when no one is coming to see you.  But these men I’ve worked with do it because they know it’s important in the long run. They work on their cases. They have to be nice to people they don’t want to be nice to (i.e. turn the other cheek when an officer or inmate provokes them). Their goal is getting out and often the tasks put in front of them feel totally arbitrary to their overall purpose or even how they feel in the moment. But they do it anyway.

3. How you make use of your time should also bring you joy

The people I met thriving inside also lived from a place of purpose. The creative ones that I worked with made sure they created and it brought them joy. I once had someone in my group who told me what we were doing was stupid and he didn’t want to do it. I told him he didn’t have to.  He interestingly stayed there because he wanted everyone to know what he thought. I wondered afterwards if he actually did enjoy the work we were doing on some level because he stayed. 

The ones that didn’t want to create who I interacted with spent time reading. They were interested in religion and the way other people thought.  They chose to engage with different views because it connected them to the world.  They recognized they wanted their minds to be active and it brought them joy.

4. How you make use of your time should be affecting others for the good

I watched one creative group being used for good and for evil in this way.  This was the group that actively wanted to create but only if one of the guys they didn’t like wasn’t present. When he was present, they used their creativity to bully him.

I found people who were deeply hurting in jail thriving because they were taking the time to really think about how their choices were affecting other people. These were the people who reached out and created camaraderie in groups. These were the people who called other people out on poor treatment of others. These people I noticed were very open and vulnerable about their own failures and willing to own up to everything. They had come to terms with themselves and now wanted to advocate for others.

Now I know we are not isolated by choice and we don't know how long it will last, yet we can choose how we want to respond to it.  I see that the way the inmates at Rikers use their time is wise and we can benefit from their wisdom.  Whether you are working or not working or handling the messiness of juggling other humans living around you, accept the seemingly simple and arbitrary tasks of the day. Make the ordinary magical by bringing yourself joy in new ways.  Explore your creativity. Perhaps paint, draw, write. Make sure you are stewarding joy.  Finally, do what these inmates taught me: reach out and connect to other people who need your empathy.  Find away to help others. I am truly grateful to my friends being held in detention for showing me how to walk this path with so much dignity and grace.