It really all began in college when I became interested in social justice theater. I was always an extremely empathetic child. I couldn't watch Home Alone because I would cry at the bad guys getting physically wounded. I saw homeless people on the streets and I always wanted to take them home with me. As I dove into the concepts of the work of Agusto Boal, I realized that was the type of theater I wanted to be doing- theater that gave voice to the oppressed.
Fast forward I feel this desire to do devised theater about social justice issues WITH people actually impacted by the issues. I begin small with working one on one with inmates at Rikers Island. Being one on one with them and hearing their stories was where it began for me. First, the realization that if they are locked up and I help them to tell their story, ethically I feel like I don't have the right to share that story. I feel like THEY should share that story. Meanwhile I'm hearing all these amazing stories and thinking, "The world needs to know this. They need to see people who are locked up as the incredible humans I get to experience everyday." Yet I felt paralyzed to begin to share work because of this ethical dilemma. It seemed primarily selfish to share these stories.
Fast forward again, trying to get back to jail during the Pandemic when I was barred from doing the volunteer work I was previously doing, I thought about going into social work and I happened upon a program assistant position for an interesting program called the Friendly Visiting Program. The Friendly Visiting Program is a New York City funded program throughout the 5 boroughs. The New York City Department for the Aging (DFTA) awards Friendly Visiting (FV) contracts to different non-profits through Case Management. At the time I knew nothing about this. I just knew I'd be working with social workers and I was interested in working with lonely, marginalized people as well as learning about social work so I could possibly go to school for it. The FV program pairs homebound older adults with volunteers who visit them once a week and develop a friendship in order to reduce social isolation. Being a program assistant for this program I eventually ended up as the program coordinator- doing the "social work", assessments, and matching the older adults with volunteers.
Just this year a series of things happened within the structure of the the Friendly Visiting Program that have made me revisit my mission and purpose in this work on a whole new level. Because of this and the possible prospect of leaving the program at some point soon, I felt once again this strong inclination to share a bit of my own experience which cannot possibly exclude the experiences and stories of the people I encounter.
The truth is, as an artist, sitting in the living room of an older adult and hearing their stories, I always see either cinematic blockbuster hits or an extremely avant garde play. I am always on the edge of my seat and desire for this story to be told- not by me- but by them to a large audience. How do I get the privilege of hearing these incredible stories sometimes 3 or 4 times a week for 1 or 2 hours in the afternoon. Then there's the experience of entering someone's home, seeing how vastly different everyone lives. I feel so honored.
Social workers do this everyday. I doubt that they immediately want to go home and write a script or perform that character they just witnessed. This is why I think I would be a better artist than a clinician. I desire deeply to help people but I also am primarily a storyteller and I cannot deny that aspect of who I am.
So how do these lines blur with the least poor ethical impact? How do I set out to tell the Friendly Visiting Story without hurting or harming the very people I desire to honor and give voice to? How do I do this tactfully? Do I do it at all? This is where I find myself as I begin to write. I have a strong desire to write but also a strong desire to protect and help these people.
I have a few thoughts about how to frame this story as I begin to write:
1) From my own perspective- The small details of my own reactions to my 5 senses in the environment of the storyteller. The details of my own feelings about being in the home.
2) Highlighting the system we live in- The truth is that in my role I am quite helpless in some ways and also yield a lot of a power. It is important to examine my place in this system and how the system may ultimately negatively effect people at the end of the day. Placing money and rules and bureaucracy behind something like a friendship has consequences.
3) Anonymity- As clinicians who write about their patients to help others, I am not going to name them. I will not give exact cross streets or exact physical details.
4) Ultimately the desire for them to be able to tell their stories and for me to take a different role. I'm not sure what this 4th one entails yet but perhaps what I am longing for is approval or an agreement form from each client I speak about to share their story before moving forward to a broader audience. The illustration below I hope will begin to shed light on this murky subject.
I am meeting again with one of my former clients as an informal friendly visitor now. I feel comfortable doing this as it has been nearly a year since she was my client and I haven't spoken with her since. I realized as I sat down with her the same impulse to have her tell her story. The difference is that she is also a storyteller and I believe that this would be healing for her. Of course, she has to choose this ultimately. But I let her know however she desires that I am here to help her tell her story to a broader audience. Whatever she wants to share, I'm there for it. I believe this avenue is the best way forward.
All that to say, I think I shall write this story to the best of my ability and then receive more opinions as I go and weigh them into how I move forward. That is how supervision works in social work. Please join me in group supervision as I begin my tale.
